Katlego Sekhu
A listener shares that since the start of the year, his wife has embraced what she calls a “new adventure.” She has stopped eating meat, spends time alone each day, and has fully leaned into practices like yoga and mindfulness. While he can see that this shift is meaningful for her, he admits he is struggling to adjust.
He has tried to express that some aspects of her new lifestyle, especially the no-meat rule, are difficult for him. For him, food is more than just food. It is tied to culture, identity and connection. Lately, he has found himself going to his mother’s house a few times a week just to enjoy a familiar meal, something he has not told his wife about.
He says it feels strange, almost like he is being dishonest, and worries that something as simple as food could start creating distance in their marriage.
Reaching out to The Best T in the City with Tbose, Anonymous wants to know how to support his partner’s growth without becoming a stranger in his own home.
“Uncle T, since January this year, my wife has embraced what she calls a “new adventure.” She’s stopped eating meat, spends at least an hour alone every day, does yoga in the lounge like it’s her second job, and speaks about mindfulness in ways I’m still trying to understand. As her husband, I genuinely want to support her. I can see this isn’t just a phase, it’s something meaningful she’s building for herself. But if I’m honest, I’m struggling.
“I’ve tried to express that some parts of this new lifestyle are difficult for me, especially the no-meat thing. It may sound small, but where I come from, food is more than just food. It is culture, it is identity, and it is how we connect. A plate without meat doesn’t feel like a full meal to me.
“Lately, I’ve found myself going to my mom’s house a few times a week just to have a familiar meal -the kind that reminds me of who I am. The problem is, my wife doesn’t know. It feels strange, but it honestly feels like I’m cheating…just with food instead of another person.
“I don’t want to lie or sneak around, and I don’t want something as simple as what’s on our plates to start creating distance between us. But I also don’t know how to meet her halfway without feeling like I’m losing myself.
“So now I’m left asking: in a marriage, when one person is evolving into someone new, how do you support them fully without slowly becoming a stranger in your own home?”
To hear the full discussion, listen to the podcast.
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