Katlego Sekhu
A listener writes in with a situation that has been weighing heavily on him since the start of the school year.
His son has been severely bullied at school. Despite reporting it, sitting in meetings, and speaking directly to teachers, nothing has changed. And while the system seems stuck, his child is changing in front of him.
Last week, things escalated. He confronted one of the boys’ fathers and admits it nearly turned physical. In that moment, he felt something shift in him.
He explains that he was once in a similar position as a teenager, but chose to walk away from violence because of his church upbringing and karate training. But now, as a father, he finds himself stuck between two painful extremes: doing nothing and feeling like he is failing his son, or acting and potentially teaching him that violence is the answer.
Reaching out to The Best T in the City with Tbose, Anonymous is asking a difficult question: how do you protect your child without raising him to believe that power must come from fear, and where is the line between being a good father and repeating a cycle of harm?
“Uncle T, my son is being bullied badly at school. I’ve reported it, l’ve sat in meetings, l’ve spoken to teachers… and still, nothing is changing. Meanwhile, my child is changing. He’s scared. He’s withdrawn. I can see the light in him fading, and it’s breaking me in ways I can’t even explain. Last week, I confronted one of the boys’ fathers-and it nearly turned physical. In that moment, something shifted in me.
“It wasn’t just anger… it was something deeper. A part of me felt ready to do whatever it takes to make this stop. And that’s what scares me. I was once in his position as a teen, but then I decided to turn the other cheek. I could have fought back, but my church upbringing and karate training didn’t let me avenge myself.
“Now I’m stuck in this space where I feel like l’m losing either way. If I don’t act, I feel like I’m failing my son, like I’m leaving him alone in something he can’t fight by himself. But if I do act…if I cross that line…what am I teaching him?
“That violence is the answer? That pain must be met with more pain? He told me he’s tired of being weak, and I’ve noticed he’s becoming more aggressive with other kids. Bra T, how do I protect my child without raising him to believe that power comes from fear? At what point does “being a good father” turn into a continuing cycle of abuse or violence that never really ends?”
To hear the full discussion, listen to the podcast.
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Don’t face bullying alone
If your child is experiencing bullying South Africa has dedicated resources designed to provide immediate support, practical intervention strategies, and a safe space for your child to be heard.
Reach out today to one of these primary helplines:
| Organisation | Contact Number | Availability |
|---|---|---|
| Childline South Africa | 116 | 24/7 (Toll-Free) |
| SADAG (Mental Health) | 0800 567 567 | 24/7 |
| LifeLine South Africa | 0861 322 322 | 24/7 |
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The post ‘My son is being bullied and I feel like I’m failing as a father’ – The Blind Spot appeared first on KAYA 959.
