Let’s be real—saying “I love you” can feel as easy as typing a heart emoji. But lately, I’ve been thinking—when did we start treating love like it’s no bigger a deal than ordering coffee? Because love is a big deal. It’s way more than a match on an app or a cute couple pic for Instagram. It’s the real stuff that happens when you let someone see you—really see you—and they decide to stick around anyway. Before we say those words again, maybe we should stop and ask ourselves: do I know what I’m actually feeling? Because there’s a huge difference between crushing hard, wanting someone to fill the quiet, and loving them.
LOVE STARTS WITH YOU (and yeah, that’s cliché for a reason) – You used to jump into things just because you were bored. Like, scrolling through your feed at 2 AM seeing everyone with their partners and thinking why not me? You would download dating apps when you had nothing better to do, or say yes to dates just to have plans on a Saturday night. But then you realized—how can you expect someone to love you if you don’t even know who “me” is? You spent months figuring out what makes you tick: that you need alone time to recharge, that you get weirdly passionate about plant care, that you still haven’t figured out what you want to do with your life (and that’s okay). Loving yourself didn’t mean becoming perfect—it meant accepting that you’re a little messy, and that’s fine. Only then could you even think about sharing your life with someone else.
LOVE IS MADE OF THE MESSY, UNFILTERED MOMENTS – We all post our best stuff online, right? The fancy dinners, the beach trips, the “perfect” selfies together. But love isn’t in the highlight reel—it’s in the stuff we don’t post about. It’s staying up way too late on a Tuesday, talking about everything and nothing while eating cold pizza straight from the box. It’s when they help you move and don’t even complain about how many boxes of books you have. It’s arguing about what to watch on Netflix, then ending up cuddling and falling asleep to something neither of you really wanted to see. You used to try so hard to be “cool” around people you liked—hiding your anxiety, pretending you liked all the same things they did. But the person you love now? They’ve seen you cry over a bad day at work, they know you sing off-key in the shower, and they still think you’re amazing. That’s the good stuff.
LOVE MAKES YOU WANT TO BE BETTER (without losing yourself) – You’ve had relationships where you felt like you were shrinking to fit in—changing your style, hiding your opinions, even giving up hobbies just to make things easier. It felt like you were losing pieces of yourself, and honestly? It sucked. But the love you know now? It pushes you forward. Your partner cheers you on when your nervous about pitching a project at work. They remind you to take care of yourself when you’re working too much. They even helped you start that little pottery hobby you’ve been daydreaming about for years. We’re still our own people, you love your gardening—but together, you’re both becoming more of who you want to be. If someone’s making you feel small or stuck, that’s not love.
LOVE DOESN’T COME WITH A CHECKLIST – You used to have this whole list in your head: must have a steady job, must get along with your friends, must like hiking (even though you hate it). You’d swipe past people who didn’t check all the boxes, thinking you knew exactly what you needed. Then you met a person—and they didn’t check half your boxes. They hate hiking, their apartment is way messier than yours, and they change jobs more often than you change your phone case. But you know what? They listen when you talk, they hold your hand when you’re scared, and they love you even when you’re being stubborn or moody. Love isn’t about finding someone who’s “perfect” for you—it’s about finding someone you want to build a life with, flaws and all. It’s not “I love you if…” or “I love you because…” It’s “I love you, and all your weird little quirks are just part of why.”
LOVE IS ABOUT STICKING AROUND (even when it’s hard) – In a world where we can unfollow someone with one tap and ghost people without a second thought, sticking to something can feel scary. But love is about commitment—not the kind that feels like a cage, but the kind that feels like a safety net. It’s being there when their family is going through a tough time. It’s supporting each other through mental health struggles, even when you don’t know what to say. It’s choosing each other over and over again—on the good days, and especially on the bad ones. For me, that means knowing we’ll get through anything, even if it’s just figuring out how to pay the bills this month or dealing with a pet that won’t stop peeing on the rug.
At the end of the day, love isn’t complicated—it’s just real. In math, 1+1=2, but in love? 1+1=1. It’s two people choosing to build something together that’s bigger than either of them alone. And when you find that? When you really get that? Then saying “I love you” doesn’t feel casual anymore—it feels like the most important thing you could ever say.
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For any personal comments or suggestions, you may call or text at 09174805585 or email me at csorita@yahoo.com.
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